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That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone’s status.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
I’ve got bad news: Today is not Friday, Tomorrow is not Friday, Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
If I had to describe myself with one word it would be "Doesn`t understand directions".
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
Cops don’t like it when you ask them “Need some help?” especially when you’re wearing a Batman costume.