Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
My girlfriend would be so mad if she found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
Gonna start a new job tomorow at a archaelogical site, I know I`m gonna dig it.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
My lack of dusting will finally pay off on Halloween.
My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.