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Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
Before I had kids I never really reflected on life`s little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
More celebrities should donate blood. I mean, imagine having the blood of Will Smith running through your veins.
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
hilarious
Don`t understand how people in depression commercials can be sad with how attractive they are.