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Don`t ask me for advice, my answer is always get them drunk.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Iām a pervert, but in a romantic way.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
Sometimes when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
"Hey bro shotgun this beer" No I don`t drink "You wanna be cool don`t you?" I don`t drink "C`mon NERD!" Grandma PLEASE stop