Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
You`ve reached the limitations of my medications.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
I need my decision making privileges taken away.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don`t give a damn!
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
They should`ve added "Might lose a lot of sleep" in Facebook`s terms & conditions before signing up.