Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
That message felt like a great idea until I hit send.
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you`re nuts.
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...
I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off.
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
It makes me sad that the closest I`ll ever get to `hulking out` is splitting my trousers when I bend over.
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.