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Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be “doesn’t know how to follow directions.”
Three guys walk into a bar. Two ended up with a concussion, the other needed 4 stitches.
Don`t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
There was a HUGE spider in the shower.. So I ran into the living room screaming naked.. Now my daughters` friends probably won`t be allowed over anymore..
A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
What`s the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you`ve fooled me, what`s behind that blur? Is it a monkey? A pencil?
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.