Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
There`s nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning next to a gorgeous smiling face. So I keep a mirror next to my bed.
I don`t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
Studies confirm that smoking withdrawal (for me) can be fatal (for you).
Sometimes Late at night. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot...
Even if your not successful in life , You are guaranteed to get two certificates
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
Donβt get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
Life`s short ... Drink fast
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep.