Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend
I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
Don`t ask me for advice, my answer is always get them drunk.
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
Soup of the day: Beer
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone