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HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
When a cashier asks if you have a loyalty card just sigh and say, "My wife took everything when she left"
Going to write hasbro a nasty letter!!! The monopoly get out of jail free card doesn`t work...since I`m texting you can you come bail me out?
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
Sometimes it`s easy to forget we would all violently murder each other if we couldn`t obtain basic food or water. Have a great day guys.
Thanksgiving advice: Sit at the kids table for as many years as possible.
This recliner and I go way back.
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well...my phone number for a start
Deaf people don`t have safe words, they use stop signs.
Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.