Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie.
You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
Never let your printer know you`re in a rush, those bastards smell fear
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
Dear Rebecca Black, you are the most beautiful And prettiest girl in the world. Don`t let the haters get you down. P.S Forgot to mention today`s opposite day.
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
Never laugh at your wife`s choices. You are one of them :)
When your Dr. says "I`ll need to Google that"..... it`s time to change Doctors