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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I`ll never know.
I need to do laundry so bad I`m actually wearing Christmas stockings
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
Just because I’m smiling, doesn’t mean I don’t want to hit you in the face.
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
This morning someone threw Skittles at me and said "Taste the Rainbow", I ran them over with my car and sang,"Nationwide is on your side"
I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.