Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m amazed at the mileage my car is getting. I`m still running off the same tank of gas I bought last year!
Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
Any hedge can be a maze if you are drunk enough.
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
"Rise and shine” is probably the most depressing thing a shoeshiner hears in the morning.
Someday, I`ll live in my OWN basement!
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"