Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
Matchbooks exist just to be clues in detective movies.
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
You think Iām mean? If only you knew what I say in my head.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say `It`s so cold out!` and I say `It`s winter` and then we silently hate each other.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
I`m going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Someone asked an old man: "After 70yrs you still call your wife Darling, Honey and Luv. What`s the secret?"... Old man: I forgot her name 10 yrs ago & I`m scared 2 ask her.
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.