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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
I know I have a long way to go but look at how far I`ve come.
Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
I don`t know how many girls it takes to change a light bulb, but I guarantee we`d post pictures of us doing it on Facebook.
Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, “I thought you were peeing?”
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
If your phone doesn´t ring it´s me.
Put on my workout clothes before going to the donut store just to give the impression I earned this.
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I`m calling Santa!"
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!
If booze isn`t the answer, then your question sucks.
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.