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Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
I have a confession to make. I was born with a rare disease called “Amazing.”
Hiding from people at parties is my cardio.
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler.
I`d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you`re not allowed to use them. Because nothing says class like useless towels.
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens I’ve cracked?
What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger... except for lions, lions will definitely kill you.
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.
Girls these days be like `I wanna get the Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet`N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice tan look`