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I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
The only instant messaging I enjoy is with my middle finger.
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
My ex has had a really hard time moving on. From what I can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
Everyone sends text like "good morning sunshine", so I texted "good morning solar eclipse" ... Yeah, don`t do that.
There`s a Bullying Support Group meeting, tomorrow night at 8 ... You`d better f*cking be there.
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if Iām right!!!!