Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
So my friend is mad at me because I slept with her ex. Her instructions were very clear when they broke up, she said "F*ck that guy!"
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
"Just so you know, you`re coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
I didn`t fall. The floor just needed a hug.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? hmm...
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.