Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
Never assume coz u wil make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance…the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning
My job blocked the Favstar website and I`m not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I`m totally taking hostages.
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
I think I might be bisexual. Because last night I had sex by myself.
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.