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I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don`t want to do.
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
I`m not saying Goldilocks was a piece of sh!t, but she broke into someone`s house and just started eating their breakfast.
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me.