Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Truthfully officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over, if I known all you were gonna do is complain about my driving.
So many rules; so little time to break them.
Sports commentators need to stop saying penetrate
I never care whether or not my glass is half full or half empty... cause I drink straight from the bottle!
If you want to ruin a song forever use it for your alarm.
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
My theory: Every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
How long does it take to get obsessed?