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I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
Probably the most exciting feature on the new Iphone is the way it upgrades simple phone theft into full on finger removal.
When choosing a ring tone, always ask yourself, "How embarrassed will I be when this rings in public?"
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
What does it mean when you sit next to an elderly woman on the bus and she shakes her head and makes the sign of the cross?
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.