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From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. ...We launch a bird into pigs!
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
I hate people who say "Age is just a number" — Age is clearly a word.
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
You’ve never truly lived until someone has posted a sign because of something you’ve done.
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the “close this ad” button.
There damn well better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober!
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.