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I was fighting with this gal over who is lazier. I let her win.
Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
BREAKING NEWS: New $100 bills start circulating yesterday. I wish this affected my life in any way.
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
People don`t want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
Word for the day is asstard
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
Where do all the ice cream men go in winter?
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.
You know what’s funny? Lots of sh!t so lighten the f*ck up.