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common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
Calm down! I`m not officially late until I actually get there.
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
Iām giving up on the silent treatment. ...Going to start talking to myself again.
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
Facebook: an alternative to drunk dialing.
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
I`ll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
Every so often you come across a person who always smiles no matter what, that person is the reason why random bitch slaps should be a thing