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I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
Finding friends with the same mental disorder as you ... Priceless
Everytime I find the key to happiness, somebody changes the lock.
Billion Dollar Idea: An app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
Never hire an Electrician with no eyebrows
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
The naked truth, is always better than someone’s best dressed lie.
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
i like boobs
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
What do I look for in a girl? Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.