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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
I wish more people were fluent in silence.
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio
I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
I have four missed calls from my mom. A rescure team is gonna break down my door and find me sitting on my couch in my underwear eating cheetos any minute now.
Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks