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Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
I feel like I have not told enough people lately to kiss my mother f*cking a$$.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
Nobody really dates anymore. You just make eye contact, text, hang out, and next thing you know all her clothes are in your closet....
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
I come from a long line of successful people. I have successfully stopped that tradition.
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.