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A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
Thank you, True Crime, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it ... I`m gonna miss that baby...
My best relationship advice: Make sure you`re the crazy one.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
Sorry for nicking your car with my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
some mornings i wish i could sneak up behind my alarm clock and say, "HOW DOES IT FEEL?!!"
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.