Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
What if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs?
I`m the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I`m ok, I`m ok"
Wife fell asleep on the couch so I drew a spider on her glasses with dry erase marker. And now we wait...
I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.
Unless your "Awesome Sauce" is an actual sauce and it involves putting it on a steak then I don`t want to hear about it.
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t