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More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you`re just like, "That is you."
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
I don`t care what people think of me. It can`t be half as bad as what I think of them...
"Why do you hate me"? I say as I attempt to hold my cat like a baby
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
Did Humpty Dumpty sue them motherf*ckers for making that wall so high?
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I`m driving.
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.