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Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
?-- that guy is cute ?
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
HR and I apparently disagree on what "debriefed" means.
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.
Dear human, you get mad when i wake you up and also get mad when i dont. Sincerely confused, Alarm Clock.
My whole life is based on a true story...