Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have decided to stop doing things "Like a Boss" and will now do things "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy."
That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
No YouP*rn… I do not want to play poker, I’m at work for crying out loud.
That awkward moment when Adele finds someone like me
You can never really say `what`s on your mind` when you have family members on your Facebook.
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes
Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.