Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
If you think you’ve hit rock bottom, the only thing that can cheer you up is bringing somebody else down with you.
My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going.
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
Plastic Surgery is Photoshop for people who go outside.
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
The only part I like about doing laundry is saying I`ve got a big load
The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviouly, I thought I was going to get away with it!
Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
It scares me when the lights go out and it`s complete darkness. The first thing I think is ... OMG I just went blind!
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."