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When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It`s only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.
Let me drink about it and get back to you.
I was told today to look at my life from a different perspective. I`m lying on the floor now and the shit still looks f*cked up.
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way ... Through the driver’s door.
Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
Only you can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?