Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doctor: How`s your headache? Patient: She`s out of town.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
I just made a voodoo doll of myself. Can someone take it to the gym?
"Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry."
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
Nothing says "I`m unemployed" like wishing for snow on Facebook.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
Guys, if she says she`s crazy, she`s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.