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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
The only charities I`ve donated money too recently are covered in glitter and dance to bad music.
Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
Relationship status: Private. The only way for it to be.
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
It`s amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
You are like that one crazy wheel on a grocery cart.
If you knew how many trips to the bathroom every phone has taken, you’d never, ever, ever, ever, ever touch somebody else’s phone. Ever.