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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
Here`s $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
I always advise people never to give advice.
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I`m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.