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Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you`re interrupting!
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot ... I didn`t even know I had a wife.
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
Being clean and sober means i’ve showered and am heading to the liquor store.
Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.