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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
Attention fuels immaturity
A hard thing about business is minding your own
I hate when I`m on Facebook and I`m rudly interrupted by a jogger bouncing off my windshield
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.
Do you really have to breath that much?
Some people should come with subtitles.
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.