Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, `change color and escape in a cloud of ink`
Behind every beautiful woman, is a beautiful behind.
is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
If guys were smart, they’d forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.