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you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
Of course I`m using OJ as a mixer, it`s flu season.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.
The awkward moment when someone say "I gotta use the restroom.... Never mind."
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.