Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid sh!t you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.
If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Best pickup line : wanna get pizza?
Dear Mom, If all my friends jumped off a cliff, it`s because it was my idea. Sincerely, Your child is a leader, not a follower.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
Dear Costumer Service: I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to you?
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.
“Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.