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If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
I`m trying to cut back on posting pics to Instagram, so I`m not going to eat anymore.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person’s shoe laces together. It’s not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?