Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
Somebody needs to invent a voice-activated refrigerator on wheels.
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
*Knocks on door* Hey open up. You didn`t reply to my last 43 inbox messages & then you updated about a guy who keeps annoying you. You need help?
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"
i like boobs
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "THERES ONE." -same guy, you`re british.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.