Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
St. Patricks day is the only time you can ask somebody in public,"Do you want some green" without you looking suspect.
Just drove past the house where I lost my virginity. There wasn`t even a plaque or anything. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That`s free cake once a year for a lifetime.
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit?
You can´t trust dogs to watch your food.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the “For External Use Only” warning labels.
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you`re talking about BABIES?
I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
You know that greener grass you see over there? You do realize it`s because they fertilize it with bullsh!t right?