Daily Silly Status

Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.

So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m

Have you ever seen the look on a mans face when he is truly sorry? Yeah, me either!

They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.

Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, “I thought you were peeing?”

Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he’s walking around like a sour puss.

I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(

I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...

I finally quit eating pizza for good, now I only eat pizza for evil.

I`m more of a "the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces" person.

Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.

Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.

Honk if you wanna see the finger

All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.