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Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."
Today I seek some truth and fulfilment but I’ll settle for some bacon.
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Bless me Father for I hit send.
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
I`m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Well, I`m guessing it`s because the other fifty percent can`t afford lawyers.
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
What did I get for Christmas? Fat...
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.