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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
I tend to say “I dont know” when I’m too lazy to think.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.
Some people should come with subtitles.