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I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
I plucked my first gray hair today ... Man, that lady was upset.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.