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Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
"Holy sh!t, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
Why do I even have unlimited texting?
I was at the hospital earlier today and saw a cute girl with a cast on her leg. Naturally, my first thought was "Hey, this one can`t run away..."
Hello, fire department? Is this Mr. February? Yeah, I`m stuck in a tree. Uh, I mean... meooow.