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My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your life.
Coffee: fueling you for a job you can`t stand to support a life you never wanted. Tastes good though...
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
I haven`t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn`t blue.
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
Ever notice that the first 10 seconds of a medical drug commercial is spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest basically daring you to take it?
I`m so great, I`m jealous of myself.
I am the head of this household, and I have my wife`s permission to say so.
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
Why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books