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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
When I come home 4 the holidays I throw $40 on the table & say "Look we`re keeping the thermostat at 75, and we`re turning on some lights."
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
My Ex texted me."please delete my number."I replied,"Who`s this??"
At 4-way stop, the first person to finish their text has the right of way right?
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven`t even seen me in bed yet.
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.