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Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can`t be with them for the holidays. But don`t be jealous.
Did you know that DNA actually stands for "National Dislectic Association"
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
if i get a friend request from you and your profile picture is a car i`ll asume your a transformer
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
Life should be more like Hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the sh!t out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes