Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you`re angrily chasing him.
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
I wonder how many people`s phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
My own personal hell sounds great, actually