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I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
Even if your not successful in life , You are guaranteed to get two certificates
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
Language is cool because it`s just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
A morning text from me doesn`t mean "good morning". It means "I`m having very dirty thoughts about you right now".