Daily Silly Status

I don`t care about your status...

Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!

If you play my day at work backwards, its about an idiot getting less and less annoying

I like people... From a distance.

When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase Regards again.

I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.

Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?

is bored of being bored because being bored is boring.

You know when you’re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That’s happening to me, only with beer.

This is 2016. How come I can`t email someone a fart when I feel like it?

I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.

It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.

Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."

So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.