Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people think you`re stupid.
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
I ordered a new GPS unit, but it got lost in the mail.