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“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it.
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Studies show that if you begin a sentence with "studies show," the internet will believe you.
Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”
Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your sh!t in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.