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Did you guys know grammar police rhymes with humorless a$$hole?
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks of themselves and they`d never get caught.
Well, one week smoke free, only 4 dead, 27 injured… not bad…
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.