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According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
Tip of the day: When there’s a will…find a way to be in it!
I tried yoga once, but we called it Twister
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Gun Control: Use both hands
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
Seen it all, done it all, can´t remember most of it.
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..