Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
Damn it. I missed the number of the day on Sesame Street and now I don`t know how many pills to take.
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I`m the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don`t feel trained for this, and I certainly didn`t sign up for the position.
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.