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Our parents always taught us NOT to write on walls... Facebook teaches us differently
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
Cashiers are always checking me out.
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
Never hire an Electrician with no eyebrows
Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..
I fake my lol`s