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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
"You`re as crazy as your mother" is the last thing I remember saying before waking up in intensive care
I always honk when I drive by homeless guys sleeping, just in case they overslept for a meeting
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
Don`t be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.
I`m a nonviolent person until I see a spider. Then I turn into Al Capone and "I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND!
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.
My scars tell a story. A story about a guy who`s really f*cking clumsy.