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One good thing about being ugly is that when someone stares at you for too long you automatically know they wanna rob you.
I think there’s finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
Writing "Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???" on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
Don’t get me wrong. I totally hear what you’re saying…I just don’t care.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?