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I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
"I`m only having one" ...said by many, practiced by none.
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Some mornings it`s best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk you head in, and suck.
It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m quite busy.
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
"You clean up nicely", is just a polite way of saying, "You usually look like sh!t."
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.