Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Someone should use screen recording software to record an entire day’s worth of working on spreadsheets and post it to YouTube so that I can play it full screen and pretend like I’m working.
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
Friends are like orgasms... nobody wants the fake ones.
“Was that lightning?” “No no…. they’re taking pictures for Google Earth..”
That awkward moment when you realize this year is just going to be filled with morons talking about the end of the world the whole time.
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
I dont run from my problems, I chase them ... with alcohol
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-
Thanks to the words “dude”, “bro”, and “man”, I haven’t said my best friends name in 10 years.