Daily Silly Status

"I`d hit that" -old people who drive

I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.

It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.

Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.

You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!

ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.

I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.

For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions

Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)

Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.

She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.

I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."

Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....

If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?