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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll do it.
I don`t want to set the world on fire........just you.
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
If a guy stares at your boobs, just stare at his d!ck ... maybe squint a little bit
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.
She caught my iphone before it hit the ground... She`s definitely my screensaver