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Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” would be a terrible way to let your child know that they’re adopted.
When I was a kid…no wait, I still do that.
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
The next person I hear say “I love fall” is getting choked out with a scarf soaked in pumpkin spice latte.
If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
Trying to be less negative but it`ll never work.
My girlfriend is about to do this ice water bucket challenge. She don`t know yet though she`s still in bed