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I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, ‘Do you want to save the changes?’
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
My mom says I`m special.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....