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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.
I inject vodka right into the orange. Screwdriver-to-go
If you run into someone you know and they say "we should hang out sometime", say "I`m ready to hang out now" and watch them panic.
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There’s never enough beer.
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.