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Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
Went to the bookstore to pick up a "Where`s Waldo" book today, but couldn`t find any. Well played Waldo, well played...
Easy way to kill me: Dangle a spider from my rearview mirror while I`m driving.
Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
Tequila. For those nights you just want to pretend she`s hot.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they don’t make you a mix tape?
If anyone is interested, I’ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 1:00 PM until I’m escorted out by security.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.